


Cheap Ramen

by Java_bean



Series: 200 Follower Fic Requests [3]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - No Sburb/Sgrub Sessions, Fluff, M/M, there's not much else to tag this with that's basically it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-16 17:05:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13058376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Java_bean/pseuds/Java_bean
Summary: Dave's been doing nothing but studying lately and Karkat thinks it's time he takes a break.





	Cheap Ramen

Someone’s pounding on your door.  You look over to it groggily and rub your hand across your face.  You were busy studying when you fell asleep like an idiot.  That’s what you get for thinking studying in bed was a good idea.  Maybe next time you’ll stick with sitting at your desk, uncomfortably hunched over in your crappy old chair.  Fucker didn’t even swivel, so what was even the point of sitting in it and hurting your back?

Actually getting some fucking studying done, apparently.  That was the point.

There’s still pounding at your door.  You were so lost in thought you’d almost forgotten about it.

The incessant knocking is accompanied by shouting.  “Dave, open up!  I know you’re in there!”  

Shit, it’s Karkat.  Did you have plans with him today?  You don’t know, you honestly can’t remember.  Your mind is still muddled from sleep and stress.  You push papers and textbooks away from you as you get up.

“Don’t make me break down this door, you useless dunderfuck!”  He continues yelling as you drag your feet slowly over to your door.  “You get your lazy stick legs over here or so help me god I will scream blood curdling shit at this door until the wood starts to rot under the sheer force of my yelling and I can bust through the soft, malleable wood with nothing but my fist and I can drag you out by your disgusting grease hair myself.”

You unlock the door and open it up a crack so you can poke your head through.  “As amazing as that sounds, Karkat, I think I’ll have to give that a hard pass.  We both know you have better things to do than stand out here and scream at my door, or at least I hope you do.  But if you’re going to insist on wasting your time with me, then I’ll be honest I wouldn’t be opposed to you fingering my grease ball.”

Karkat wrinkles his nose in disgust.  “I don’t know whether to vomit or kick you in the face.”

“Puke on your shoe, you won’t have to decide, then.”

“That’s a great idea that I would definitely be willing to do.”  He looks down at the ground and kicks your doorframe.  “If only these weren’t so new and expensive.”

“Then you can’t risk kicking me, either.  What if my face scuffs your shoe up?”

“Shit, you’re right.  I never even thought of that.  I guess that means all I can do is puke on you.”

“Yes, but here’s the thing: do you really want to waste the measly amount of food you were able to squander with the remains of your paycheck by regurgitating it all over me?  Think about it, Karkat, is it really worth it?”

“No,”  he sighs, “it’s not.  You win this one, Dave.  No harm or excretions will befall your asinine visage today.  Or at least not while I have these shoes on.”

“Serves you right for spending all your dough on shoes.”  You reply smugly.

“I didn’t spend it all on shoes.”  Karkat says, shaking his head.  “I was planning on spending it on you.”

Whoa.  That came out of nowhere.  “Karkat, what?”

“I have a good chunk of my paycheck left, and I want to use the rest on you.”  Karkat restates, more firmly this time.  “Go out with me, Dave.”

You…don’t know how to respond to this.  

“Get in here.”

You drag Karkat into your room by the arm and close the door behind him.  You turn back around and face him, your arms crossed over your chest.  “Okay, two questions.  One, what the fuck?  And two, what the fuck?”

“Are you going to elaborate on those or do I have to answer based off that?”  Karkat asks, taking a seat on a bare part of your bed.

“Oh, you better believe I’m going to elaborate on this shit.  I’m going to elaborate the hell out of this shit.”  You run a hand through your hair, it’s gross and you could use a shower, but that’s not what you’re focusing on right now.  “What the fuck was with that delivery?  Karkat, we’ve been dating for two years now!  That’s not how things operate around here, and you know it!  That out there?  Where you asked me out on a date like a proper douchebag?  That was so last year! We are way past that point in our relationship where we just politely ask each other out while nervously shitting ourselves over the very possibility of being shot down.  No, we don’t do that now.  Our pants have been shit free for almost a whole year, we don’t ask about dates, we make plans together to go do stuff, or we hang out.  We don’t ask each other out on dates anymore, Karkat, because we’re dating.  We’re together.  Everything we do as a couple is a date and it’s awesome.  Then you had to go and have some massive diarrhea attack and wreck it all by asking me out like some loser who has no idea what the fuck he’s trying to do.  So, to repeat my question, what the fuck?”

“That’s the thing, Dave.  You haven’t wanted to make plans with me or hang out for awhile.  I feel like it’s been a long time since I’ve seen you.”  He shuffles some of the papers on your bed around.  “I figured putting myself out there like a brainless idiot might get you to agree to hang out with me.”

“Karkat, that’s stupid. I see you practically every day!  We had a class together like five hours ago.”

“I meant outside of class, you dense shit!”  Karkat snaps at you.  “When’s the last time you left this room other than for a class?”

You open your mouth to answer, but you honestly don’t know.  You got pizza with John once, and you went back to his house to watch a movie.  When was that?  Last week?  Last month?  You can’t remember.

“When’s the last conversation you had that wasn’t about school?”  He continues to press.  Still, you don’t know.  You shake your head.  

“When’s the last time you took some time off for yourself and just relaxed?”

“I don’t know.”  You admit.  “It’s been awhile.”

He nods as if you just proved his point, which you guess you sort of did.  “That’s what I thought.  You need to get out more, Dave.”

“I know, and I want to.  It’s just that I’m-”

“-busy, I know.”  He interrupts.  “We’ve all been busy.  I just thought I’d remind you that it’s okay to take a break once in awhile.”

“Yeah.”  You shuffle back over to your bed and flop facedown on top of it.  “A break sounds good.”

“I didn’t mean that kind of break!”  Karkat starts shaking your shoulder.  “Come on, get up!  You have to get out of this stuffy room.”

“No.”  You groan into the mattress.

“You have to.  We both agreed that you not leaving this room is part of the problem!”  He insists.  “Now come on, get up!”

“No.”

“If you don’t get up, I’m going to leave and do a bunch of fun shit without you.  Is that what you want?  Me doing fun shit without you?”

You offer a noncommittal shrug.

“Who are you going to hang out with during this break of yours if I leave right now?”  Karkat asks, laying down next to you on the bed.  He clearly has no intention of actually leaving.  “You have to get back out there into the real world and socialize a little.  I know it’s stupid and it sucks and the only people who enjoy that kind of fucked up interaction are total masochists, but it’s a part of existing that you just can’t avoid doing.  It’s unhealthy to go this long without a single real conversation, Dave.”

“I’ve had a few real conversations.”  You mutter into your pillow.

“Really?”  He raises a disbelieving eyebrow.  “With who?”

“Karkactus.”  You gesture over to the little cactus on your desk.

“You named your cactus after me?”

“Yeah.”  You turn your head so you’re looking at him and nod.  “You’re a little prick, it seemed fitting.”

“Wow,”  he snorts right in your face, “you’re the worst.  I fucking hate you.”

“Well that’s too bad, because I love you.”  You reply.  “Enough to name my only source of comfort and friendship in this horrible time of stress after you.  You know, when spring comes that thing’s probably gonna sprout a little flower or some shit, and when that time comes I can literally say that our love has blossomed.  So take that, you son of a bitch, I love you.”

“Shit, I forgot how much of a dumb sap you could be sometimes.”  He laughs.  “I love you, too.”

You pull him closer to you on the bed and start kissing him.  It’s a lazy meeting of your lips pressed against his, and you regret not having brushed your teeth in awhile, but it’s still sweet and tender and fantastic.    
It’s embarrassing to admit, but kissing him is comforting.

“Karkat,” you mumbled against his mouth between kisses, “I know that you love me and you want to take care of me and all, which is really nice and I appreciate the fuck out of, but…”

He stops kissing you and presses his forehead against yours.  “But what?”

“But I don’t want you spending all your money on me.”  You admit.  “That’s your money, you worked hard at your shitty, thankless job for that, you should at least use some of it for yourself.”

“I did!  I bought these shoes, see?”  He points down at his foot.  “They were really expensive.”

“Karkat, those are clearly Wal-Mart shoes, they couldn’t have cost more than ten dollars.”

“Ten dollars more than keeping my old shoes.”  He replies.  “See?  Expensive.”

“You could see your toes through the old ones.”  You reply.  “You were in need of some new shoes.  That doesn’t count.”

“Yes, it does!  They could have held together another month, I could have kept wearing them.”  He prods your leg lightly with one of his new shoes.

“Okay, fine, I’ll let the shoes go.”  You roll your eyes.  “But I’ll be honest with you, dude, I really hate the thought of you putting my needs ahead of yours.  You need to take better care of yourself before you try to take care of anybody else.”

He scrunches his eyebrows at you.  “What do you mean?”

“Karkat, your mouth tastes like ramen.  Not even the good kind, it tastes like the twenty cent shit you buy at the gas station in those little plastic cups with the tasteless vegetables and stale noodles.”

“I can’t believe you just compared my mouth to dime store soup.”  He flicks you in the forehead.  “Thanks, dickwipe.”

You rub at the spot with one finger.  “Don’t mention it.  I’ll be honest with you, the fact that the inside of your mouth tastes like  it’s coated with Top Ramen is worrisome.  How much of that shit have you been eating?”

He squirms uncomfortably next to you, but doesn’t move.  “None of your business.”

“If my business is your business then you answering my question is only fair.”  You try to reason with him.  “Karkat, have you been eating anything besides ramen lately?”

He goes silent for a minute, searching his brain for any food at all that he might have eaten before finally admitting what you thought all along.  “No.”

“See, that’s what I mean!  You need to take care of yourself, first.  When’s the last time you ate a vegetable?”

“When’s the last time you ate a vegetable?”

“I had mushrooms on a pizza once.”

That must have been more than he’s had in awhile, because all he does is punch you softly in reply.  

“Hey, here’s an idea, how about we go out to eat someplace?  You can get a salad and I’ll get whatever the hell I want because out of all the things I’ve been neglecting, my nutritional health hasn’t been one of them.”

“Beg to differ.”

“Shut it, salt king.  You interrupt sodium much, dude, I swear.”

“Did I hear you correctly or did you not just do a fucking salt pun?”

“I don’t know, it might be all the noodles stuffed into your ears, man.  Did I make a pun or are you just hard of hearing now? Who’s to say?   It’s one of life’s greatest mysteries.  The world may never know.”  You get another punch and a soft “fuck you” for that.  You grin back at him, proud of yourself for making such a stupid joke, and kiss his nose.  “Like I was saying, we could go out, stuff ourselves with good food, split the bill because I refuse to let you pay for everything.  I know you mean well, but that’s not fair to you.  You worked really hard to get that cash, and it’s not like I’m flat broke.  I have money, I can pay for myself.  And after that, while our food is gestating in our bellies and converting itself to energy and shit, we could walk around town a little and talk until it gets dark out or we run out of things to say.  What do you think about that?”

Karkat pretends to mull the idea over, even though you both already know that he’s going to agree to it, since it’s pretty much what he’s been asking for since he knocked on your door.  “Well, if you insist.”

“Oh, I do insist.”

Karkat brushes your greasy hair away and kisses your forehead.  “Then let’s go.”

You both crawl off the bed.  Karkat heads straight for the door while you stop to put your shoes on.  “Where are we going, anyway?”

Karkat shrugs.  “We’ll figure it out when we get there.”

Because you’re both on a budget, your choices are pretty limited.  You end up at a pretty cheap local bar and grill that’s not too far off campus.  The foods okay and the booze is strong, or so you’ve heard.  They also don’t look very carefully when they do end up carding people, so usually even the flimsiest of fake ID’s can score some drinks.

You’re not here for that, though.  You’re here to eat, and eat you shall.

You and Karkat both end up ordering burgers.  He insists this is fine because there’s veggies on the burger, but you glare at him until he gives up and substitutes his fries with a salad.  When the food comes, you give him a few of your fries to compensate.  

You debate about dessert a little, but once you’ve both polished off all your food there’s no way either of you could eat another bite without exploding on the spot.  So no dessert.

You both pay separately (as you’d insisted) and stroll out of the restaurant.  The sky’s burnt orange by the setting sun.  Karkat stares up at it wistfully.

“The sunset’s really nice here.”

You take his hand in yours.  “Yeah, it is.”

You start walking around and talk about nothing and everything at the same time.  Karkat bitches endlessly about that guy at work he hates and how much his jaw hurts from having to clench it into a smile all the time whenever there’s a customer around.  You have trouble thinking about something to talk about aside from school, so you mostly stay quiet and comment as he rants.  

It’s getting darker, the sky is purpling and all the streetlights are coming on, bathing the sidewalks in circles of bright light.  You’ve been wandering aimlessly up until this point, but now it feels like you should turn around and head back to your dorm.  Before that, though…

You stop walking, which also forces Karkat to stop so he can keep holding your hand. “Hey, you wanna refuel and grab a slushie?” 

“What?”  You point at the gas station not too far ahead.  “Oh.  I thought we were supposed to be making good, healthy choices today?”

“I think we did pretty good, we deserve a treat.”  You argue.  “Plus, it’s not like anyone’s actually expecting us to make great choices, we’re college students.  Come on, I’ll buy.”

He shakes his head.  “No, we went Dutch like you wanted on the meals, I’m not making you pay for these by yourself.  I’ll pay for me.”

“Okay, fine.  You can pay for your own damn self.  So we’re getting them?”

“Yeah, we’re getting them.”

The lights in the gas station are fluorescent and harsh.  You have to blink a few times to get used to them.  Once you do, you head right over to the slushie machine and grab the biggest cup available.

“Really, Dave?  Do you really need that much slushie?  It’ll be melted before you’re even halfway done with it.”

“But you get the most bang for your buck this way, Karkat.  It cost the same as a medium, but I get more for it.  You’re better off getting the large.  Bigger’s always better, dude.  Get the big one, I dare you.”

Karkat grumbles but gets the big one, anyway.  He’s basic and fills it all the way with only one flavor.  What a loser.  You waste no time filling yours with every flavor available.

The slushies add up to less than two dollars.  You consider this an excellent purchase.  You and Karkat go back to holding hands while you slurp at your slushie.  You are determined to prove Karkat wrong, but you also don’t want to run the risk of a brain freeze.  You walk slowly back the way you came, both of you fully aware of where you’re going but not wanting to acknowledge that the night’s already over.  It would be easy to continue, of course, but you both have responsibilities.  Jobs.  Classes.  All that bogus but necessary shit you need to do in order to succeed in “the real world”.  

It’s a mood killer, is what it is.

Karkat walks you all the way to your door, clutching your hand so hard your knuckles are almost white.  You want to laugh because it’s totally unnecessary.  You’ll be seeing each other tomorrow, after all, you have a class together then, too.  

The thing is, though, you get what Karkat meant earlier when he said that class didn’t count.  You don’t talk as much, you’re not as close as this.  You don’t hold hands in class.  You never realized how much you missed the feeling of his fingers interlocked with yours.  

You’re still holding hands right outside of your door.  If anyone saw the two of you together, they would think you’re a lovestruck idiot.

Which you are, but still.  No need to broadcast that.

“Your slushie melted.”  Karkat gestures at your cup with his own, which has also melted.  “I called it.”

“Yeah, well, I still think it’s better than getting a smaller one for the same price.”  You shrug and take another sip of what at this point is just cold artificially flavored water.  “So suck it, Karkat.”

“I’d rather not, this shit looks nasty when it’s dissolved like this.”  He sticks his tongue out for emphasis.  It’s blue now and looks ridiculous.  You wonder what color your own tongue is.  Would the dye stain Karkat’s tongue if you kissed him right now?

The only way to find out is if you do it.

You lean over and kiss him.  It’s a little awkward because you’re both still holding your slushies and each other’s hands, so you have to try really hard to keep your balance and avoid knocking Karkat over.  His mouth is soft and cold, and it still holds the after taste of ramen, but it’s still nice.  It’s still perfect and comforting and everything you’ve ever wanted in a kiss.    

Karkat pulls away first and laughs.  His teeth are also stained blue.

“What?”

“Your mouth is blue.”

“So’s yours.”

“I know.”  He nods, his grip on your hand loosens.  

You don’t want him to let go, and clearly he doesn’t want to, either.  But still, you have to.  You’re already at your door, prolonging this is just stupid.  

You let go completely and wrap your now free hand around your cup.  It’s cold and you don’t like it, your mind’s practically begging for your hand to return to Karkat’s, where it’s warm albeit a little sweaty.  Somehow, you resist the urge.  

“Today was fun.”  You finally say.  “Thanks, I needed this.”

He shakes his head.  “Don’t thank me, I needed this just as much as you did.”

“But still, you’re the one who kicked your own ass into high gear and took initiative to actually get this shit taken care of.  So yeah, I think you do deserve at least a little thanks for this.”

“Okay, fine.  If you’re going to be like that about it.”  He rolls his eyes.  “You’re welcome.  Do you want the rest of my slushie?”

“Hell yeah.”  You remove the lid from your cup and hold it out to him.  “Just dump that bad boy right in there.”

Karkat eyes the remains of your slush concoction but dumps his in, anyway.  It almost overflows, but it’s alright.  You pop the lid back on and slurp it.  

Karkat grimaces.  “That’s disgusting.”

“You’re one to talk.”  You scoff.  “You eat bugs.”

“Bugs at least have a nutritional value,”  he replies, “that’s just nasty artificial sugar water.”

“Wow, I can’t believe the ramen king is lecturing me on nutrition.  I practically had to force feed you lettuce today, dude.”

“Nobody likes salad, Dave!  Nobody except your stupid fluffy hop beasts and you know it!”

“I know.  Just chill and leave me and my cup of corn syrup water alone.”  You take another sip.  Karkat sticks out his tongue but doesn’t say anything.  “Yum.”

“You’re gross.  I’m never kissing you again.”

“Yeah well, that goes double for your cricket crunching ass.”

That one makes him laugh, and you can’t help but crack a smile in response.  

“You were right,”  you say once he’s done laughing, “we really need to do this more often."  
   
“We do.”  Karkat agrees.

“I’ll try to make more time for this…for you from now on.”  You offer. 

“Me, too.”  He nods.  “You’re really important to me, Dave.”

Dammit, why’d your boyfriend have to be such a genuine sap?  Fuck.  “You’re important to me, too, man.”

“Good night, Dave.”  Karkat gives you one final kiss.  “Don’t study too hard.”

“I won’t.”  You promise as he walks down the hall towards the stairwell.  “Good night.”

You go back into your room and close the door behind you.  You look over at your bed, at the mess of loose papers and textbooks left on top of it.  Homework.  Things you need to study for in case of a test later.  All that stuff you should probably be doing right now.

You run a hand through your hair again.  It’s still greasy and disgusting.  You should probably shower at some point.  You can’t even imagine how horrible you must have smelled today.  Yeah, showering would be a good idea.  You take another sip of your melted slushie.

Before you do that, you have some other things to attend to.  You walk over to your desk and open up your laptop.  You log on to pesterchum.

Studying can wait.  


End file.
